Friday Offcuts – 17 October 2025

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Welcome to this week’s edition of Friday Offcuts.

It’s another busy week ahead. While preparations continue for November’s popular ForestTECH 2025 technology series, Innovatek is also hosting, next week, over 300 attendees at the Residues2Revenues 2025 and Bioeconomy Innovations 2025 events in Rotorua.

In this issue, forests are again at the centre of climate discussions. Forestry Australia says meeting the nation’s 2035 emissions targets depends on active, science-based management and large-scale reforestation, warning that ending native forest harvesting could undermine both carbon goals and regional jobs.

Industry momentum continues, with the WPMA Conference showcasing innovation, trade opportunities, and a growing bioeconomy. Scion also released its final annual report before merging into the new Institute for Bioeconomy Science, highlighting recent achievements. FWPA-backed research is helping safeguard Australia’s log exports by testing safer fumigation alternatives.

Meanwhile, OneFortyOne advances recovery of storm-damaged forests, and efforts continue to control wilding pines. The week also celebrated progress in skills and design, with WoodSolutions’ new CPD platform and award-winning timber projects like The Boot Factory and Maryborough’s mass-timber fire station.

Read these stories and more in this packed edition of Friday Offcuts.

Correction: Earlier today, we mistakenly included the story “Forestry seeking judicial review to halt ETS fees” in Friday Offcuts. This article referred to legal action from October 2023 and was added in error. It has since been removed from the online edition. We apologise for the oversight.

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Forests at the heart of real climate action

Australia’s new emissions reduction target of 62–70% by 2035 is ambitious, but achievable – if we get forests right. Meeting this goal depends on a massive boost in land-based carbon removals, and the Agriculture and Land Sector Climate plan recognises the major role of forests. Healthy, well-managed forests are our most powerful natural tool for absorbing and storing carbon from the atmosphere. Put simply, we must grow more trees. But for that to work, we need policy grounded in science and honesty.

Forests aren’t static museums. As they age, carbon uptake slows and natural disturbances like fires, storms, drought and dieback can turn them from carbon sinks into carbon sources. The Black Summer fires alone released emissions equal to 35% of Australia’s entire greenhouse gas inventory in 2020.

These events are exacerbated by the reality that our protected area network is chronically underfunded, resulting in passive reservation that reduces capacity for forest management and leaves forests more vulnerable. Active, science-based management including thinning, cultural and prescribed burning, and restoration of degraded areas can help forests stay resilient and reduce catastrophic carbon losses.

That’s why advice from the Climate Change Authority (CCA) is concerning. The CCA suggests that “stopping old-growth clearing and reducing native forest harvesting” are priority climate actions. However, logging of old-growth forests has already been phased out across most of Australia for many years. Under 4% of old growth in Tasmania remains available for timber harvesting.

Prioritising action on small-scale activities to reach Australia’s emissions target may provide easy “wins” politically, but risks distracting from where the real gains can occur and make a significant difference. Further, reducing local sustainable regrowth native timber harvesting doesn’t cut emissions when considering the full life cycle of timber – it increases our reliance on imports and substitute products, often creating a higher carbon footprint. That’s leakage, not mitigation.

Let’s not forget that wood has a significant role to play. Sustainably harvested timber continues storing carbon long after it leaves the forest, while displacing carbon-intensive materials like steel, aluminium and concrete. Use of wood residues in biochar and biofuels can improve agricultural productivity, replace coal in industrial processes and offset emissions in hard to abate sectors like transport.

These substitution benefits of wood are well established and globally recognised, yet the CCA largely ignores them. That omission undermines one of the clearest opportunities we have for real, lasting emissions reduction.

Globally, sustainably managed forests and wood products are recognised as critical to reaching net zero. If Australia is serious about its target, we must fully embrace the role for all forests. This means halting deforestation, expanding plantations and trees on farms, and restoring degraded forests to support resilient landscapes. It also means making greater use of local wood to build a low-carbon bioeconomy for generations to come.

The scale of the challenge is immense. The plan indicates that reforestation alone will need to sequester more than 100 Mt of CO₂-e each year by 2050. That means up to 10 million hectares of new trees in just 25 years. At current rates of about 20,000 hectares per year, we’re at just 5% of what’s needed. A step change in policy is essential.

We need more trained forestry capacity and new approaches involving local governments, farmers, Indigenous communities, NGOs, large private investors and the forest industry supported by effective extension services.

Forestry Australia calls for a national dialogue to develop policy settings that enable forests to play their full role in climate action while delivering the timber needed to address the housing crisis. Australia cannot afford to base its climate future on myths and misplaced priorities.

Source: Dr Michelle Freeman, President, Forestry Australia
Image credit: Forestry Australia


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WPMA National Conference 2025 summary

The 2025 Wood Processors and Manufacturers Association (WPMA) Conference spotlighted innovation, resilience, and sustainability in New Zealand’s timber industry, drawing leaders together under the theme “Wood – The Key to a Resilient Future.”

Attendees engaged with topics ranging from policy to mass timber construction, trade, forestry supply chains, bio-forestry, and education pathways for the next generation of wood professionals.

In opening the Conference, Hon Todd McClay, Minister of Forestry and Trade, commended the sector’s Value-Added Wood Exports Growth Acceleration Plan. He emphasised the importance of processing more forest products onshore, noting that processed wood exports rose 27 percent to NZ$1.1 billion in the past year, a milestone that reflects the sector’s growing capability and global relevance. The core message from Sam Keenan, DDG Te Uru Rakau, was the importance of aligning industry efforts with government support to unlock new opportunities in the global market.

Tariffs are having an adverse global impact on markets for New Zealand timber exports. Deputy Secretary Trade and Economics, Vangelis Vitalis, commenting that pre 1995 timber tariffs throughout the world were at 5 percent of less, now tariff escalation as in the United States, is impacting the profitability of exporters. The governments drive is to develop further free trade agreements to reduce tariffs and trading barriers to open new export markets. Trade negotiations with India, for example, are progressing well and it is hoped to have an FTA between India and New Zealand in place in coming months. This will include a gradual reduction of current tariffs on wood products to a zero rate.

When looking at new opportunities for wood processing NZ Bio Forestry Chief Executive, Wayne Mulligan highlighted that we need to change the value of what we sell if we want to go forward. With a tree there should be no waste as woody biomass can be turned into a range of high value low emissions products. This includes biochemical and biopharmaceuticals to replace plastics and other products relying on petrochemicals. Next time you look at a forest understand it is a huge green biomass of molecular carbon technologies – carbon is valuable.

In his closing address WPMA Chair, Don Hammond noted that the conference wasn’t just about policy and economics - it also celebrated the social and environmental impact of the wood sector. With over 30,000 New Zealanders employed across forestry and wood processing, the industry plays a vital role in sustaining regional communities and advancing low-carbon solutions. Key messages being that we need collaboration across the supply chain to grow our sector, and that we need to pivot from exporting logs to selling higher value wood products and derivatives.

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Source & image credit: WPMA



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FWPA-backed research to safeguard Australia’s log exports

Safeguarding Australia’s log export market as methyl bromide faces increasing restrictions globally.

Australia’s log export industry faces growing pressure to reduce its reliance on methyl bromide (MB), a fumigant under increasing global scrutiny. New research funded by Forest & Wood Products Australia (FWPA) has identified promising alternatives that could safeguard exports and support worker safety.

The project, Safeguarding Australian exports of logs from future withdrawals of methyl bromide (PNC643-2324), found that methyl iodide (MI) offers strong potential as a replacement in future. Trials demonstrated MI’s effectiveness against key pests at lower application rates than MB, with a safer environmental profile.

Beyond MI, the research highlights the importance of diversifying treatment options. Alternatives such as ethanedinitrile (EDN), sulfuryl fluoride (SF), phosphine gas (PH₃) and non-chemical methods including microwave and joule heating are being explored to reduce the risks of relying on a single solution. This diversification not only builds resilience against regulatory change but also supports innovation across the supply chain.

FWPA’s Head of Forest Research Jodie Mason said the work underscored the importance of proactive action. “Our log export markets are too valuable to risk. By investing in alternatives and engaging with regulators and trading partners now, industry has the best chance of securing long-term market access while demonstrating leadership in sustainable trade practices.”

The findings also emphasise the need for stronger engagement with international regulators and trading partners to ensure Australian exports continue to meet phytosanitary requirements. A coordinated industry approach combining research investment, commercial-scale trials and policy advocacy will be vital to delivering practical and acceptable alternatives at pace.

Building on these findings, we are pursuing continued industry investment with a subsequent research project that will focus on advancing and validating alternative treatments to meet international market requirements. Through industry workshops, lab and field trials, commercial-scale demonstrations, and targeted engagement with regulators and trading partners, the project aims to support acceptance of safe and effective alternatives, ensuring continued market access and biosecurity compliance for Australian log exports.

Read the full report

Source: FWPA


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2025 Scion annual report out now

Scion is pleased to share with you our Annual Report for 2025, which has been presented to Parliament by our shareholding ministers. This is the last Annual Report from Scion as, from the start of the current financial year, we merged with AgResearch, Manaaki Whenua – Landcare Research and Plant & Food Research to form the New Zealand Institute for Bioeconomy Science.

Over the 2024/25 financial year, we put significant effort into delivering impact for partners and customers. This is testament to the commitment and dedication of all Scion staff and put us in a good position as we became part of the Bioeconomy Science Institute.

As we reflect on Scion’s achievements over this past year, we look forward to the new opportunities the Bioeconomy Science Institute will bring to grow New Zealand’s sustainable, export-led bioeconomy and build a prosperous and sustainable low-carbon future. Through our contribution to the institute, we look forward to a science, innovation and technology system that can deliver greater benefit to New Zealand, enabled by funding and investment better aligned to growing a decarbonised economy.

New Zealand needs to accelerate this transformation or risk being left behind. It is essential our science, innovation and technology sector is aligned to deliver on these great opportunities.

View report

Source: Dr Julian Elder, Scion Group Chief Executive
Image credit: Scion Group



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Recovery effort continues for 1.5 million storm-damaged trees

Last week marked three months since severe storms caused unprecedented damage to OneFortyOne’s forestry operations in the Nelson Tasman region, prompting what the company describes as one of the largest salvage recovery operations in the region’s forestry history.

The storm impacted 3,780 hectares of plantation forest, equating to approximately 1.5 million trees across OneFortyOne’s estate. The damage was concentrated in the Tasman region where a combination of saturated soils and extreme wind conditions created the perfect conditions for widespread windthrow.

“The intensity and extent of this storm event was beyond anything we’ve experienced in this region,” said Shaun Truelock, Executive General Manager at OneFortyOne New Zealand. “While we design our forests to be resilient, the combination of factors on that day simply overwhelmed even our most robust stands.”

OneFortyOne has mobilised a significant salvage operation, working against the clock to recover timber before it deteriorates. The scale of the operation has required additional crews, specialised equipment, and careful coordination across multiple sites.

“Every day matters when you’re dealing with downed timber,” Shaun explained. “We’re running a substantial operation to recover as much value as possible while ensuring the safety of our crews and maintaining our environmental standards.”

The financial impact on OneFortyOne is substantial, with preliminary estimates indicating losses in the millions of dollars. The company is working through detailed valuations as the full extent becomes clearer.

However, the salvage operation has provided a short-term economic boost to the Nelson Tasman region, with additional employment for contractors, harvesting crews, and transport operators.

“On the flip side, there’s been a short-term boost for the region,” said Shaun. “We’ve brought in extra logging crews and truck drivers who are spending money on accommodation, food, and local services. While this doesn’t offset the long-term loss, it’s providing welcome economic activity in the immediate term.”

Despite this setback, OneFortyOne is already applying lessons from the storm to future management decisions. The company is identifying and removing particularly vulnerable trees in high-risk areas to reduce exposure in future weather events.

“We can’t prevent storms, but we can be smarter about where we carry risk,” Shaun said. “We’re taking a hard look at our most exposed areas and making decisions that will make our forests more resilient going forward.”

“I want to acknowledge the outstanding collaboration and support we’ve received from Nelson City and Tasman District councils,” Shaun said. “Their proactive approach and their storm response has been exceptional.”

The company is also working with NZTA and local authorities on roadside planting along State Highway 6, where storm damage necessitated temporary closures. “This storm was a significant setback, but our commitment to sustainable forestry in this region is unchanged,” Shaun concluded. “We’re learning, adapting, and positioning ourselves to manage future risks more effectively.”

Source & image credit: OneFortyOne



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Winners of the 2025 Australian Timber Design Awards

The Annual Australian Timber Design Award winners for 2025 were announced at the Rydges Hotel in Melbourne, on Tuesday 14 October 2025. The MC for the evening was Rebecca Gilling, formerly a well-known actress who appeared in a number of popular TV shows including Glenview High, Return to Eden, and The Young Doctors, and now Co-CEO of Planet Ark.

Archer Office with Partridge was the winner of the Grand Prix, for their outstanding Boot Factory. Located in the heart of Bondi Junction in NSW, the Boot Factory is a striking example of how timber can breathe new life into a heritage structure. Originally built in 1892 and condemned before works began, the building has been transformed into a civic innovation hub using an adaptive reuse methodology. The designers retained the original brick perimeter walls, and completely reconstructed the interior and roof with a new glue-laminated Australian hardwood structure.

The new columns and inverted floor system showcase the warmth and beauty of exposed Victorian Ash beams and planks, celebrating timber craftsmanship whilst also providing future flexibility. The roof was also entirely rebuilt, featuring an exposed solid timber structure of radial rafters that converge at a central skylight, drawing light deep into the space providing a direct visual connection to the sky.

 As a community and innovation hub, the Boot Factory demonstrates that heritage buildings can be reimagined as future-focused, low-impact civic infrastructure, impressively merging materiality and ecology.

Award winners:
  • Overall Winner - Boot Factory by Archer Office with Partridge
  • People's Choice - Tumbalong Green Sound Shell by Hassell
Excellence in Timber Applications:
  • Residential Class 1- New Building - Nebraska by Lara Maeseele
  • Residential Class 1 - Alterations & Additions - Lower Line House by Incidental Architecture
  • Fit Out-Residential - Echo House by PARABOLICA
  • Fit Out-Commercial and Public - Consulate of Malaysia, Melbourne by Cheah Saw
Architecture:
  • Furniture & Joinery-Australian War Memorial Spiral Staircase by Details by Ned
  • Commercial Building - Northern Memorial Park Depot by Searle x Waldron Architecture
  • Public Building - Boot Factory by Archer Office with Partridge
Excellence in Timber Products:
  • Sustainability - First Building - Bradfield by Hassell
  • Australian Certified Timber - Nebraska by Lara Maeseele
  • Recycled Timber - Cake House by Alexander Symes Architect
The Australian Timber Industry would like to extend gratitude to our panel of judges, sponsors and those who entered projects.

Click here for a complete list of winners and finalists.

About the Australian Timber Design Awards

The vision of the Australian Timber Design Awards is to highlight, advertise, advocate, and develop a timber design ethos through the encouragement and showcasing of superlative timber design in various applications. A broad range of entry categories demonstrates the diversity of timber and permits recognition of achievement in a variety of areas.

Source: Timber Development Association 
Image credit: Peter Bennetts



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WoodSolutions launches flexible, on-demand CPD platform

WoodSolutions has launched a new Continuing Professional Development (CPD) platform, giving building and design professionals flexible, on-demand access to industry-accredited timber education. The platform is designed to help architects, engineers, builders, and other industry practitioners grow their timber knowledge while conveniently meeting CPD requirements.

Flexible learning that fits professional schedules

The WoodSolutions CPD Platform allows professionals to study webinars at their own pace, complete a short learning activity, and download their CPD certificate. At just $25 per certificate, it’s an affordable, self-paced option for busy professionals who may not be able to attend scheduled live webinars.

“Continuing professional development is essential for keeping skills up to date and supporting innovation in the built environment,” said Kevin Peachey, Head of Built Environment Programs at FWPA.

“Our new CPD Platform ensures professionals can access trusted, evidence-based timber education when it suits them, helping them stay at the forefront of sustainable design and construction practices.”

Independent, trusted timber knowledge

The platform features a wide range of content on timber design, construction techniques, and innovative building solutions. Developed by WoodSolutions, an independent, not-for-profit provider of timber education and resources, and resourced by Forest & Wood Products Australia Ltd (FWPA), each module delivers trusted, evidence-based learning. The on-demand format makes it easy for professionals to build their timber knowledge and apply it directly to real-world projects.

Simple, three-step process:
  1. Watch a webinar
  2. Complete a short learning activity.
  3. Get your CPD certificate
For more information and to explore the WoodSolutions CPD Platform.

Source & image credit: WoodSolutions


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Tackling the growing problem of wilding pine

The 2025 Wilding Pines conference took place in Twizel this week. The aim of the conference is to share knowledge, boost morale and hopefully attract new funding to the problem Funding which - according to MPI returns NZ$34 of economic value for every dollar spent. Dr Thomas Carlin is part of the Bioeconomy Science Institutes "Viva La Resistance" project.



Source: RNZ


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2025 FGLT Board Elections - nominations open

Nominations are open now until 5pm, Thursday 30 October for the 2025 Forest Growers Levy Trust (FGLT) Board Elections. These elections are held under section 4.4 of the FGLT Rules, as half of the elected board members are retiring.

This year’s election will look to fill three Board positions:
  • Two positions for levy payers with more than 1,000 hectares
  • One position for levy payers with less than 1,000 hectares
There are no restrictions as to who can be nominated. The person does not need to be a forest owner or potential levy payer.

Eligible forest owners/entities can nominate candidates online via the Forest Voice website or by email.

Nominators are required to specify the category in which the nominee will stand in and confirm that they are eligible to nominate the nominee as detailed in the “Rules for Forest Growers Levy Trust Incorporated”.

The full list of criteria for nominating candidates to stand in the Board Election can be found on the Forest Voice website.

Key dates
  • Nominations open: Thursday 9 October
  • Nominations close: 5pm, Thursday 30 October
  • Voting opens: Monday 10 November
  • Voting closes: Friday 21 November
  • Results announced: Thursday 27 November
For complete information on nominations and the election, visit the Forest Voice website. Please note, this process is being managed independently by Research New Zealand.

More >>

Source: NZ Forest Owners Association
Image credit: Forest Growers Levy Trust



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Teaching event legacy of the 1961 Western Australian bushfires

The 1961 WA bushfires provide a classic, rare case study where the recommendations of a Royal Commission and lessons learnt by firefighters were taken seriously by the government, and land and fire management agencies, in particular the WA Forests. Over time, virtually all of the and recommendations and lessons learnt were implemented. This resulted in significant decline in the annual area burnt by bushfires, and consequent bushfire losses. 

Of all the major bushfires in Australia’s history, the author believes none has left such a deep and lasting legacy as the 1961 bushfires in Western Australia. They were not the deadliest fires Australia has seen, but they were among the most influential. The 1961 Dwellingup fire in particular became an important case study for how bushfire was understood, managed, and mitigated in the decades that followed. It is no exaggeration to call it the single most important “teaching event” in the history of bushfire management in Australia.

A defining moment in fire management

The 1961 bushfires swept through vast tracts of forest in Western Australia, igniting between January and March across Dwellingup, Pemberton, the Shannon River region, and Augusta-Margaret River. The fires razed towns like Dwellingup and Karridale, destroyed 160 buildings, and caused an estimated $35 million in damages. Remarkably, no lives were lost—a testament to the skill and bravery of firefighters and the resilience of local communities.

What set these fires apart was not just their scale, but the response they triggered. The Western Australian government convened a Royal Commission, led by Forester G.J. Rodger, to investigate the causes and recommend reforms. The inquiry’s 27 recommendations were not only logical but transformative, laying the foundation for a new era in bushfire management.

Capturing the 1961 bushfire teaching event and lessons

The Royal Commission’s findings resulted in a comprehensive overhaul of fire management in Western Australia. Key reforms included:
  • Enhanced Equipment and Communication: Investment in modern radios, improved tanker trucks, and standardised pumper units.
  • Fire Behaviour Research: A dedicated program to understand fire dynamics and develop safer prescribed burning techniques.
  • Prescribed Burning Programs: Systematic fuel reduction became central to fire mitigation, with rotational burning schedules tailored to forest types.
  • Spotter Aircraft: Replacing unreliable tower systems, aerial detection improved response times and fire mapping.
  • Interagency Cooperation: Agreements between government bodies, local councils, and volunteer brigades fostered unified fire strategies.
These reforms were not merely theoretical. They were operationalised, tested, and refined over decades, resulting in a dramatic decline in bushfire extent and severity across the region.

Conclusions

The 1961 Dwellingup fire was a tragedy, but it was also a turning point. It taught Australians that suppression alone is insufficient, that science and planning are essential, and that communities must be prepared with a “Plan B.” It demonstrated the power

Read the full reports: Source: John O'Donnell




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Online tool aims to reduce road freight emissions

Road freight association Transporting New Zealand are announcing the launch of an online tool that aims to help the industry decarbonise. The Green Fleet Self-Assessment Tool is a ten-question survey that allows transport businesses to estimate their emissions and identify opportunities to reduce them. 

It will be made available after a Road Freight Decarbonisation Update in Auckland later this month featuring updates on Low Emission Freight Certificates, EECA’s Low Emission Heavy Vehicle Fund and more.

“This is a practical guide that enables operators to identify what they’re already doing to reduce emissions, and what more they could do,” says Transporting New Zealand Chief Executive, Dom Kalasih. “For many businesses and ordinary Kiwis alike, a brand-new zero emission vehicle isn’t feasible just yet, but that doesn’t mean there’s nothing to be done.”

The survey outlines some actions operators can take, including:
  • Fuel efficient driver training
  • Route optimisation and backloading to reduce empty trips
  • Preventative maintenance and regular servicing
“Not only do these strategies reduce emissions, but greater fuel efficiency reduces costs, which is imperative for operators in what is a highly competitive sector,” says Kalasih.

NZTA data has found there can be up to a 35 per cent difference in fuel consumption between efficient and inefficient drivers, demonstrating the cost savings to be made. “Customer demand for greener business practices has been growing for years. But many of the more transformative zero emissions technologies for heavy vehicles are still in their infancy, and tight margins present a challenge to investment here.

“Transporting New Zealand hopes that our members and the wider industry will find value from this tool and use it to communicate their decarbonisation efforts with customers.”

The launch event will be held at TR Group’s premises in Auckland on the 24th of October. If you’re interested in attending please contact the Transporting New Zealand team at events@transporting.nz before Tuesday 14 October.

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Source: Transporting New Zealand



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Mass timber fire station wins international accolade

The Hyne Group congratulates the project team and the Queensland Government following the announcement that the Queensland Fire and Emergency Services North Coast Region Headquarters and Maryborough Fire and Rescue Station, has taken out the international Built by Nature ‘Public Infrastructure’ award.

Principal Architect of Baber Studio, Kim Baber, who led the design of the project, was in London to accept the award which recognises excellence in timber building projects and their unparalleled sustainability credentials.

The Hyne Group’s General Manager, Corporate Affairs, Katie Fowden, said this is a remarkable achievement which now gives this building, international exposure as a leader in design and construction. “Congratulations to Kim and the project team as well as the Queensland Government and the Queensland Fire and Rescue Service following this well-deserved recognition of an outstanding building selected from almost 400 entries.

“This building came about through the Queensland Government’s ‘market led proposal’ avenue, to demonstrate how mass timber can be utilised for perfectly functional, not ‘showy’ and within budget construction of public infrastructure. Being locally grown and manufactured mass timber from certified plantation pine, it delivered sustainability credentials, carbon sequestration, excellent fire performance qualities and aesthetic appeal."

The original proposal was led by the Hyne Group with a team of specialists and therefore, by default, had the all-important early contractor involvement, design for manufacture, prefabrication and overall efficiency gains.

“The structure was constructed in just two weeks with few trades on site, and was substantially cleaner, quieter and less disruptive in the heart of Maryborough when compared to a traditional construction project," said Ms Fowden. “All up, it was the perfect recipe for construction of today and the future which has seen it win multiple awards in innovation, marketing, design, construction, sustainability, and now this exposure on the international stage.” 

The Built by Nature award follows a rigorous shortlisting and judging process by international experts including Kevin McCloud, Architect and Grand Designs host. As the winning building, it will be further showcased as part of COP30 being held in Brazil in November, including the showing of a short documentary.

The building is Australia’s first mass engineered timber fire and emergency services complex. It came about from an idea at an innovation forum held in Maryborough, hosted by the Queensland Government.

Passionate project partners got on board including the Hyne Group (Hyne Timber and XLAM) as the mass timber supplier, Kim Baber and Baber Studio, Hutchinson Builders, the University of Queensland’s Centre for Future Timber Structures and Bligh Tanner.

Independent analysis by Nezo (formally V-Quest) confirmed this project saved 1,742 tonnes CO2 compared to using conventional building materials.

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Source & image credit: Hyne Group



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And one to end the week on... Gassing up

A trucker came into a Truck Stop Cafe and placed his order. He said:

"I want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards."

The brand new waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, went to the kitchen and said to the cook:

"This guy out there just ordered three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards..... What does he think this place is an auto parts store?"

"No," the cook said:

"Three flat tires mean three pancakes; a pair of headlights is two eggs sunny side up; and a pair of running boards... are 2 slices of crisp bacon!"

"Oh... OK!" said the waitress. She thought about it for a moment and then spooned up a bowl of beans and gave it to the customer.

The trucker asked, "What are the beans for, Honey?"

She replied:

"I thought while you were waiting for the flat tires, headlights and running boards, you might as well gas up!"




And on that note, enjoy your weekend. Cheers.

Ken Wilson
Editor, Friday Offcuts
www.fridayoffcuts.com


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