Friday Offcuts – 12 December 2025

growing info milling transportation forest products

Click to Subscribe - It's FREE!

Welcome to this week’s issue of Friday Offcuts.

With Christmas just two weeks away, many will already be looking toward a well-earned break. Before you switch off, it’s worth taking a moment to check out our upcoming Environmental Forestry event, with super early-bird discounts ending this month.

In news this week, we lead with a new ABARES report summarising long-term productivity trends across Australia’s plantation estate. The findings show steady or improving softwood performance, more mixed results in hardwoods, and rising pressures from climate, management, and supply-chain challenges.

Across the Tasman, IKEA’s pine expansion in Hawke’s Bay is raising concerns about farmland loss and fire risk. Meanwhile, the Australian and Victorian Governments have announced a major precinct proposal in Portland to boost local processing capacity and reduce reliance on imports.

We also feature new timber research supported by the WIDE Trust, significant modernisation plans at Niagara Sawmilling, and the launch of the 2026 Micro Innovation Challenge.

Finally, this edition includes FWPA’s latest WoodChat interview with AFWI’s Dr Joseph Lawrence, updates on Australia’s strengthened nature laws, and a new assessment of bushfire preparedness.

Read these stories and more in this week’s packed issue of Friday Offcuts.

Subscribe a friend | Advertise Here

Our Partners & Sponsors

Friday Offcuts is made possible through the generous support of the following companies.
We are grateful for this support.

This week we have for you:

Recent Comments

ABARES plantation productivity summary

Understanding productivity for the plantation forestry sector is important when assessing both current performance and for looking to possible future innovations in the sector. Productivity growth is essential to offset the impact of climate change and drive the competitiveness of the sector.

To date there are limited analyses of productivity change over time in the plantation forestry sector – in large part due to challenges linking inputs and outputs over the decades long life cycle of a plantation.

The purpose of this report is to begin to describe productivity improvements within the Australian plantation estate over the past 15 to 20 years. Comparisons of current and historical Mean Annual Increment (MAI) estimates were chosen as a useful starting point for analysis.

MAI is the average annual volume growth of a tree or stand of trees over its entire age, calculated as the volume of logs harvested, divided by the number of years since planting. In the context of an economic analysis MAI can be considered a partial measure of productivity. Insights from consultations with growers provide additional context on drivers of and barriers and risks to productivity increases for the sector.

Consultations with growers revealed a dynamic industry, with a focus on harnessing technological improvements to at least maintain or improve plantation growth rates and wood quality.

Key findings
  • Softwood plantation MAIs have remained steady or shown moderate increases over the past 15 years. Increases are strongest in South Eastern Australia for Pinus radiata (P. radiata). P. radiata is has the largest plantation footprint, and is closely linked to the housing and construction sector both of which allow a focus and scale of research and innovation effort.
  • Trends in hardwood plantation MAIs are mixed. Hardwood plantations have a smaller footprint than softwood, are split between pulplog and sawlog silviculture, and the hardwood plantation sector was established more recently than the softwood plantation sector. This combination of factors makes discerning clear trends in the hardwood estate challenging.
  • Growers described increases in MAI estimates have been driven by improvements in plantation management (through silviculture, genetics, research and innovation) and also supported by links along the supply chain (improved harvesting and processing technology).
  • Growers described adaptions made to manage physical, regulatory and social licence risk, and highlighted the importance of proactive adaption to increasing climate risks through a range of short and long term investments.
Download the full report

Source & image credit: ABARES

FWPA has provided further insights on the report


Comment on story    


IKEA's Hawke's Bay pine tree expansion hits issues

The highly anticipated opening of Swedish furniture company IKEA in New Zealand comes as a rural community worries about the fire risk from pine plantations. Since 2020 IKEA has converted six Central Hawke's Bay farms into pine forestry, which they believe makes them the largest forestry owner in the district.

This move, combined with the sale of at least four other Hawke's Bay farms to overseas forestry companies this year, is sparking concerns from locals about the loss of productive farmland and the risks associated with converting large areas into pines.

To better understand the scale of this land-use change, Porangahau farmer James Hunter and pilot Joe Faram flew RNZ over thousands of hectares of new pine trees that now cover what had been traditional farmland for generations.

More >>

Source: RNZ


Comment on story    


Australia’s largest plantation precinct in Portland

The Albanese and Allan Labor Governments have joined forces to back the development of Australia’s largest plantation hardwood and softwood processing facility in Portland – creating local jobs and boosting regional manufacturing.

Federal Minister for Agriculture, Forestry and Fisheries Julie Collins and Victorian Minister for Agriculture Ros Spence today announced a joint $2.95 million investment in research to support the initial stages of the ‘Precinct Project’ in regional Victoria.

Australian Forest and Wood Innovations (AFWI) will lead the feasibility study of a new processing facility in Portland, so that more locally grown timber can be manufactured locally, into products like glue laminated timber, laminated veneer lumber, and housing solutions – reducing Victoria’s reliance on imports and creating up to 200 jobs.

The project unites industry, academics, Traditional Owners, and all levels of government to undertake an over $7 million research, development and feasibility project for a new advanced plantation timber manufacturing and innovation hub in Portland over the next two years.

This research will support the development of a shared advanced manufacturing facility, where expert manufacturers work together to connect forests to frames and harvests to homes – combining supply chain businesses to make production as efficient as possible.

Businesses will operate independently but share key resources like roads, energy, water, and transport hubs. These facilities will unlock the full potential of locally grown certified plantations to produce higher value timber products and enable faster, more efficient and affordable prefabricated housing solutions while reducing carbon emissions.

The Precinct will be located near the Port of Portland and key infrastructure positioned at the heart of the Green Triangle – a major forestry region in south-west Victoria and south-east South Australia that supplies large volumes of plantation hardwood and softwood timber and drives the regional economy.

It builds on the Allan Labor Government’s investment in the Green Triangle, including $500,000 for a Hardwood Timber Manufacturing Hub Feasibility Study, and $4.8 million for key freight road upgrades under the Portland Economic Diversification Plan – complementing the Government’s $190 million to grow Victoria’s plantation estate.

The timber hub feasibility study initially assessed the viability of glue-laminated timber production in the Green Triangle, from the plantation hardwood resource that have traditionally been exported.

We’re also backing in AFWI’s ongoing research and development work to identify new opportunities for Australia’s timber industry through the Australian Centre for Climate Smart Forestry at the University of Melbourne.

More >>

Source: Victorian Government

Also read: Hub welcomes State Government investment to advance Portland’s Precinct Plan (Green Triangle Forest Industries Hub)



WoodTECH News banner


Comment on story    


WIDE Trust advancing timber innovation in Aotearoa

The WIDE Trust is proud to continue its long-standing support of innovative timber education and research through the Timber Technology Thesis Vertical Teaching Programme, led by Professor Andrew Barrie at the School of Architecture and Planning. This project, completed earlier this year, once again highlighted how strategic funding can enable hands-on learning, industry collaboration, and the advancement of sustainable building technologies.

Supporting Future-Focused Timber Design

The approved grant funded a design-and-build project undertaken by Master of Architecture student Billy Pengelly. Billy’s work builds on a multi-year research trajectory investigating how New Zealand’s lower-grade and irregular timbers can be structurally utilised through innovative jointing systems.

His project extended earlier research by thesis students Ethan Aish (2022) and Gregory Mann (2023). Ethan adapted CNC fabrication methodologies to better suit lower-grade timber prone to warping, while Gregory refined this into a joint system that absorbs inconsistencies without compromising structural integrity. Billy pushed the thinking further by testing whether these wedged-joint techniques could be applied to the irregular trunks commonly thinned from commercial forests, creating new opportunities for using a highly underutilised resource.

From Prototype to Installation

Billy developed and prototyped the system in early 2024 before collaborating with a cohort of fourth-year Timber Technology students who joined him in the workshops during September, October, and November. The finished structure was transported as prefabricated components to Summerhill Recreational Park in Papamoa, where it was successfully installed in December 2024.

The project is the latest in a long-term partnership between the School of Architecture & Planning and Summerhill. The relationship provides significant learning benefits, students gain insight into how timber structures weather and evolve over time, while Summerhill receives ongoing enhancements and maintenance from successive student groups.

Strong Industry and Community Support

The structure benefitted from generous industry contributions.
  • Summerhill Timbers Ltd supplied all timber, milled from their own exotic plantation.
  • Cass Goodwin of Batchelar McDougall Consulting provided engineering support at a heavily discounted rate.
  • Resene sponsored coatings for the project.
Because Billy successfully used the thinned and irregular timbers as the primary structural material, no additional material sponsorships were required.

Looking Ahead: Awards and Future Projects

The completed structure has been landscaped, professionally photographed, and entered into the 2025 Best Awards, with a submission to the New Zealand Institute of Architects (NZIA) Awards to follow. This continues a strong tradition of recognition, 2024 saw Josh Bovill’s WIDE Trust-funded Summerhill Whare win a Gold Pin at the Best Awards, and earlier Summerhill structures received an NZIA Waikato & Bay of Plenty Award in the Small Project category.

Work is already underway on a new, adventurous WIDE Trust-supported thesis structure scheduled for completion in late 2025.

Strengthening Timber Education in Aotearoa

Support from the WIDE Trust has been pivotal in advancing research into timber jointing innovation and in strengthening teaching across the architecture programme. The 2024 grant has contributed not only to successful thesis work but also to the ongoing development of a wider timber-focused curriculum. A new timber-centred design studio for second-year Bachelor of Architectural Studies students is set to launch soon, also supported by the Trust.

The School of Architecture & Planning expresses its deep appreciation for the WIDE Trust's continued commitment to fostering cutting-edge, practical, and future-focused timber research and education in New Zealand.

The WIDE Trust is dedicated to advancing education, innovation, and excellence within Aotearoa’s forestry and wood-based industries. By supporting research, teaching, and hands-on initiatives across the country, the Trust is helping grow the next generation of leaders in timber technology, forestry, engineering, and design.

More >>

Source & image credit: WIDE Trust



WIDE Trust


Comment on story    


New Australia laws to protect nature - Impact on native logging?

Reforms to Australia’s nature laws have passed federal parliament. A longstanding exemption that meant federal environment laws did not apply to native logging has finally been removed from the Environment Protection and Biodiversity Conservation Act.

Native forest logging will now be subject to national environmental standards – legally binding rules supposed to set clear goals for environmental protection. This should be a win for the environment, and some have celebrated it as an end to native forest logging in Australia. But the reality is such celebrations are premature. We don’t have all the details of the new standards, or know how they will be enforced and monitored.

Business as usual? Federal Environment Minister Murray Watt has told the forestry industry, including in Tasmania, that native forest operations will continue as usual. In an interview with ABC Radio Hobart, he said the changes keep day-to-day forestry approvals with the state government, but introduce stronger federal oversight.

More >>

Source: The Conversation


Comment on story    


NZ market update - December 2025

With 2025 almost put to bed, it’s time to start contemplating what next year might look like in our market space. This year has been the most stable in terms of price that we have seen since 2018 and, although the prices are not super appealing compared to the golden period a few years back, stability does provide certainty. This certainty is in the form of consistent work programs for contractors, consistent supply for our exporters and domestic sawmills and predictable returns for forest owners.

So, the 64-million-dollar question is what will next year be like? Predictions like this are always dangerous without the gift of hindsight, but my bet would be more of the same. There’s nothing out there that would give an expectation of an increase in demand from China. India may give rise to some additional demand as real GDP is running at 8.2%, and they are slowly getting their port infrastructure into this century. The long-anticipated FTA will help as returns to India are still marginal and fumigation remains problematic with their requirements for Methyl Bromide. There is therefore a glimmer of hope but nothing bankable or of scale at this stage.

Vietnam probably holds the most potential with demand increasing steadily, however the problem there is the lack of port infrastructure for break bulk vessels meaning most logs have to be containerised, which is expensive and to top that off, the Vietnamese don’t want our lower Ki and KIS grades. Unfortunately, once you’ve sold the eye fillet, it’s sometimes hard to sell the bladders and brains, so any significant volume increase into Vietnam will require a bladder and brains solution.

Forest360, Export A Grade at Wharf gate price chart

Taking the above into account, China is still, by far, our most important trading partner for forest products. While we have lost a significant amount of harvesting infrastructure in the past few years, successive windblow events, such as the one in Nelson, continue to put excess volume into a market that doesn’t really want it. If you look up the word ‘commodity’ in the dictionary you’ll probably see a photo of a log and to that extent, the rules of supply and demand affect log prices directly.

It’s unlikely that Chinese demand will increase significantly, if at all, in the short to medium term, so we need to be very careful with our supply position post new year, especially around the traditional Chinese New Year Celebrations when the market basically stops for the best part of 3 weeks.

More >>

Source & image credit: Forest360



HarvestTECH News banner


Comment on story    


WoodChat: An interview with AFWI’s Dr. Joseph Lawrence

In this episode of WoodChat, we speak with Joseph Lawrence, Executive Director of Australian Forest and Wood Innovations (AFWI), about the institute’s first year, its forward strategy and the shared vision AFWI holds with Forest and Wood Products Australia (FWPA) to strengthen Australia’s forest and wood products sector. 

Joseph reflects on his engineering and higher education background, and the years he spent working on emerging technologies, innovation and training before moving into government. Coming into the sector as an outsider has given him a unique vantage point on the cultural differences between universities, industry and government.

He talks openly about how these competing priorities can create tension but also present opportunities for deeper collaboration, particularly when AFWI and FWPA work together to align research and industry needs. 

We explore AFWI’s newly finalised five-year strategy, which focuses on four national priorities: 
  • Healthier, more productive forests 
  • Maximising wood fibre through value-added manufacturing 
  • Climate solutions 
  • Engineered wood for modern housing 
Joseph discusses how scientific research underpins the wood products industry’s position as an advanced manufacturing sector, along with the additional work that supports this, including regional development, capability growth and long-term research investment. He draws parallels with the energy sector where he has significant experience, particularly in areas such as carbon value and emerging net zero opportunities. 

The conversation also covers how AFWI plans to work hand-in-hand with FWPA, building on complementary strengths and shared objectives. Joseph outlines upcoming AFWI projects, the role of the three regional Research Centres, and the opportunity to coordinate research, skills, innovation and commercial outcomes through a collaborative approach. 

For listeners across the sector, this episode offers clarity on how AFWI and FWPA can work together to deliver stronger forest health, better utilisation of wood fibre and more sustainable housing and climate outcomes for Australia. 

Listen to full interview

Source & image credit: FWPA


Comment on story    


Mechanical planting survey

Mike Sutton at Forest Innovation Services is conducting an industry scan on behalf of Forest and Wood Products Australia (FWPA) to understand the perspectives of forest growers and contractors on the adoption and use of mechanised planting in Australia and New Zealand.

If you are interested in contributing to this project, follow this link, or the QR code, to participate in a 15-minute survey.

You can also contact Mike at ForestInnovationServices@gmail.com.

More >>

Mechanical planting survey

Source: Forest Innovation Services / FWPA


Comment on story    


Major modernisation of Niagara Sawmilling announced

Comact, a global leader in high-performance OEM wood-processing technologies, is proud to announce a major equipment and technology sale to Niagara Sawmilling Company, located in Invercargill, New Zealand. This large-scale modernisation project will significantly enhance Niagara’s production capabilities and strengthen operational performance.

“We are excited to move forward with this new sawmill in partnership with Comact. The technology and expertise they bring will allow us to significantly enhance reliability, efficiency, and fibre optimisation across our operations. This investment represents an important step in strengthening our mill for the long term,” said Ross Richardson, CEO of Niagara.

Executed in close collaboration with Lakeland Steel, Comact’s key partner in New Zealand and Australia, the project reflects a shared commitment to delivering cutting-edge technologies supported by strong local expertise.

This brownfield project includes the supply of an entirely new log infeed equipped with a Versa Ring Debarker. The primary breakdown will feature a Hybrid Sawline, combining triple profiling, circular saws, a splitting module and a 7ft CETEC bandsaw, followed downstream by a dual-profiling CPG (canter profiler gang). Together, these elements make it the most versatile sawing line ever designed. The mill will also include a complete trimmer line equipped with an AI-powered TrimExpert™ optimizer. Additionally, the new installation will be equipped with a suite of Smart Vision systems deployed throughout the process, along with full integration of the sawmill into the OPER8™ industrial IoT platform.

“This project is a strong example of what our partnership with Comact is designed to deliver: world-class technologies backed by local execution. Niagara is a respected operator in New Zealand, and we are proud to support the engineering, fabrication, and installation needed,” said Cory Leatherland, General Manager of Lakeland Steel.

“Comact sincerely thanks Niagara for its trust in our people and our company,” said Simon Potvin, CEO of Comact. “Our team is fully committed to delivering this project on-time and on-budget, with the highest standards of engineering, execution, and customer support. With Comact’s global expertise combined with Lakeland Steel’s strong regional capabilities, Niagara can rely on world-class service and long-term support at every stage of the project.”

Equipment delivery is scheduled for late 2026, followed by commissioning in 2027.

More >>

Source & image credit: Comact
Image credit: Niagara Sawmilling




WoodTECH News banner


Comment on story    


Storm-damaged trees still causing havoc in Southland

WorkSafe New Zealand is appealing to Southland farmers to put safety first, following a spike in tip offs about risky handling of wind-damaged trees. Six weeks after severe storms flattened shelterbelts across Southland, safety concerns are mounting as farmers tackle dangerous cleanup work without proper skills or equipment.

A shortage of experienced contractors has created a perfect storm of risk. Inexperienced workers are taking on hazardous jobs while fatigue climbs and the clean-up drags on.

In one case, a man fell four metres while using a chainsaw to delimb a partly fallen tree on a farm. He required four hours of surgery after suffering a punctured lung, internal bleeding, and a smashed rib cage. Another worker had a chainsaw smash bone in his foot and cut 90% of the way through a tendon.

There are also reports of tractors being used to rip out storm-damaged trees and risky methods to free stuck chainsaw bars.

“We're seeing good intentions without matching skills, and it's driving dangerous behaviour,” says WorkSafe inspector Emma Boyd, who has been responding to immediate danger on farm visits across Southland. Prohibition notices are being issued when unsafe chainsaw or machinery use is identified, unless an immediate fix can be made.

“Storm-damaged trees are loaded with hidden forces that can kill or maim in seconds. These aren't the usual jobs farmers are used to. We know fallen trees are a disruption, but getting injured in the clean-up is far more of a disruption.”

WorkSafe's advice is clear: don't DIY with hazardous trees. Use temporary fencing to cordon off dangerous areas and wait until an expert can come to you.

“This isn't routine firewood splitting. Calling in a professional is smart farming, not a sign of weakness,” says Inspector Boyd.

WorkSafe is particularly concerned about improvised approaches, with unsuitable machinery being pressed into service and workers lacking the specialised gear and training required for storm work.

“Don’t let your enthusiasm to get your farm fully operational again cloud your judgment on what’s safe and what’s not,” Inspector Boyd warns.

“Your chainsaw and tractor aren't enough for this. Storm-damaged trees behave nothing like standing timber. They're under enormous tension and can move without warning.”

“We're seeing dangerous cutting techniques, bars stuck in wood, and trees that have split. Even experienced farmers are being caught out because this clean-up isn't a straightforward job.”

Farmers looking for help should take time to check that anyone offering tree clean-up services has the right skills and experience for the job. Contractors returning after time away may need to refresh their training, so it’s best to confirm they’re up to date. Choose contractors with proper chainsaw safety training and wood processing expertise, who know how to deal with trees under tension.

Agriculture is a priority sector for WorkSafe. It was New Zealand’s deadliest industry in 2024, with 14 workers killed. WorkSafe’s role is to influence businesses and workers to meet their responsibilities and keep people healthy and safe. When they do not, we will take action.

Source & image credit: WorkSafe NZ



Register for Environmental Forestry 2026


Comment on story    


The 2026 Harvesting Micro Innovation Challenge is now open

Forestry is about to get smarter, faster, and more efficient – and it starts with YOUR ideas! Forest Growers Research ‘Forestry Work in the Modern Age’ Automation & Robotics Programme and Micro Innovation have officially launched the 2026 Harvesting Micro Innovation Challenge, giving frontline workers, contractors, engineers, students, and anyone with a bright idea the chance to revolutionise logging tasks and tools.

This isn’t just about dreaming big – it’s about making it happen. The challenge offers $10,000 NZD to turn your concept into a working prototype and trial it in real operations. Whether you’ve thought, “There’s a better way to do this,” or you’ve already built a prototype, now is your moment to shine. From Saturday 6 December 2025 to 5pm, Saturday 31 January 2026, you have 8 weeks to submit your ideas at on the Micro Innovation website.

Your idea could be anything – a new tool, an upgrade to an old one, a smarter process, a clever use of tech, or something completely out of the box. The only limit is your imagination! Entering is simple: no lengthy proposals required. Just tell us the problem you’re solving, describe your idea in a few words, and upload any sketches or supporting info. Submit as many ideas as you like!

You know the work best – and we’re here to help you make forestry better, together. Scan the QR Code and enter today.



Source & image credit: Micro Innovation


Comment on story    


Bushfire preparedness assessment for 2025 and 2026

There are annual Australian bushfire preparedness summits, conferences, workshops and webinars and many other fire activities, but nowhere does the author see broad annual assessment of bushfire preparedness across Australia, states, regions, local government areas nor for towns and cities, especially across all the applicable factors and available to the public.

In the public interest, community interest, national interest and in the interests of firefighter and community safety, the author has prepared this bushfire preparedness assessment across SE Australia, examining a series of bushfire preparedness assessment factors. Such assessments are not provided to the public, communities or firefighters and the author sees this as a major risk and concern area, hence the effort made to prepare this assessment. 

This process of bushfire preparedness assessment is critical considering the massive impacts of many bushfires on safety, economic and social impacts and environmental impacts, including Australia, Palisades, Maui, Greece and elsewhere and many other recent bushfires. It is also an important step in capturing lessons from Australia and overseas.

The 2019/ 20 bushfires provided a major warning to Australia, unfortunately we didn’t capture key issues.

Bushfire preparedness assessment across SE Australia

The author has undertaken this preparedness assessment in as briefly as possible assessment, but taking a broad look at bushfire preparedness across SE Australia. The full review is included here.

Conclusions

In the public interest, community interest, national interest and in the interests of firefighter and community safety, the author has prepared this bushfire preparedness assessment across SE Australia, examining a series of bushfire preparedness assessment factors. 

The author is of the opinion that there is inadequate bushfire preparedness across SE Australia for many of the bushfire preparedness factors outlined above for the 2025/ 26 bushfire season, an accountability issue that needs to be seriously addressed and tackled.

There are large opportunities for governments at all levels, government agencies and communities to address the bushfire preparedness issues identified above in the public interest, community interest, national interest and in the interests of firefighter and community safety.

If opportunities aren’t taken, Australia could very well end up similar or worse than the 2019/ 20 bushfire outcomes.

Read Summary Report and Full Review

Source & image credit: John O'Donnell



ForestTECH News banner


Comment on story    


Forestry pioneer and leader applauded for outstanding service

Australian forestry pioneer, innovator and long-serving AFPA Board member James Malone has been honoured for his outstanding service and leadership of the industry. As a well-known leader of the forestry sector, Mr Malone – a co-founder of Wesbeam – recently announced his retirement, and has stepped down from AFPA’s Board after serving for almost a decade.

AFPA Chief Executive Officer Diana Hallam said: “James is a true pioneer, entrepreneur and highly respected leader of our industry, who has led the way with distinction and foresight over many years. 

“I sincerely congratulate James on his remarkable forestry and business career, and his innovative and valuable contributions to our sector through AFPA’s Board and numerous other committees and industry leadership roles. I congratulate James on his upcoming retirement as Managing Director and CEO of Wesbeam.”

Some of Mr Malone’s impressive career achievements have included:
  • Pioneering Australia’s only laminated veneer lumber (LVL) manufacturer, based in Perth.
  • Former CEO and Managing Director of WESFI Ltd.
  • Former Chairman and longstanding board member of Wespine.
  • Being awarded the Forest Industries of WA leader of the year in 2006, and
  • Undertaking numerous industry leadership positions, Director of Dyno Industries WA, President of the Forest Industries Federation of WA, Director of Engineered Wood Products Association of Australasia, and Director of Australian Wood Panels Association.
In 2023, Mr Malone was named one of Business News WA’s Power 500 leaders for Industrial & Logistics, and he is also a Trustee of the Gottstein Trust.

“On behalf of the sector, I extend a sincere thanks to James for his long service, dedication, achievements and outstanding leadership of the industry, and wish him well for the future,” Ms Hallam said.

Source: Australian Forest Products Association
Image credit: Wesbeam


Comment on story    


Jobs



Buy and Sell



And two to end the week on... NZ's education & Crash, sip, surprise!

Sit down for 5 minutes and see how perfectly impressive our New Zealand education system is …!



Crash, Sip, Surprise!

A woman ran a red traffic light and crashed into a man’s car. Both of their cars are demolished but amazingly neither of them was hurt.

After they crawled out of their cars, the woman said, “Wow, just look at our cars! There’s nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days.”

The man replied, “I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God!”

The woman continued, “And look at this, here’s another miracle. My car is completely demolished, but my bottle of 75 year old scotch didn’t break. Surely God meant for us to drink this vintage delicacy and celebrate our good fortune.” Then she handed the bottle to the man.

The man nodded his head in agreement, opened it, drank half the bottle and then handed it back to the woman. The woman took the bottle, immediately put the cap back on, and handed it back to the man.

The man asks, “Aren’t you having any?”

She replies, “Nah. I think I’ll just wait for the police.”






And on that note, enjoy your weekend. Cheers.

Ken Wilson
Editor, Friday Offcuts
www.fridayoffcuts.com


This week's extended issue, along with back issues, can be viewed at www.fridayoffcuts.com

Friday Offcuts 
Advertise Here

Brand Partners

Our Partners & Sponsors

Friday Offcuts is made possible through the generous support of the following companies.
We are grateful for this support.

We welcome comments and contributions on Friday Offcuts. For details on advertising for positions within the forest products industry or for products and services, either within the weekly newsletter or on this web page, please contact us.

Subscribe! It's Free!
Advertise Here
Copyright 2004-2026 © Innovatek Ltd. All rights reserved